I like to "Weird" Al songs as much as possible. So since college, I have believed in one golden rule of listening to the radio. Whenever the word "love" is used in a song I replace it with "hump." It can be any version of love.. lovin'. loved, loves, etc.
For instance, as the subject line of this entry suggests, REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Lovin' You" is now
"Keep on Humpin' You." And not just in the title. " I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on humpin' you."
Its really that easy and childish. But extremely fun.
Now just take that magic formula and apply it to timeless classics ( and complete garbage) such as:
Whitney Houston (and Dolly Parton) " I Will Always Hump You"
Righteous Brothers, " You've Lost That Humping Feeling"
Percy Sledge, "When a Man Humps a Woman"
One rule: This switching of the words only works when love is used as a verb. If it is used as a noun (ex. Bad Company's "Feel Like Makin' Love") it doesn't work. So not only is this game fun, but also educational.
And be consistent. If you're gonna sing it, sing it so much that other's can no longer enjoy the song without hearing your version.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
What's Up With All The Vampires?
When I was a young teenager, most of the movies I enjoyed seeing starred adults. Anything that had the Governator or Stallone blowing things up was a must for me to see. Occasionally, an action/drama film would come out that starred teenagers and was targeted at teenagers. Sure there were plenty of John Hughes' films to hit the market. And most were funny and enjoyable. But I'm talking about Red Dawn and one of my all time favorites, The Lost Boys.
There were a few other main stream vampire movies at the time, but nothing like an action flick starring the Coreys. That movie was great. There was a love interest between Jami Gertz and Jason Patric. The slapstick was provided by the Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander (had to look that one up on imdb.com) as the Frog brothers. Plus a great cameo by Barnard Hughes as the grandfather. "One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires." The movie had everything a kid wanted to see.
And then, vampires faded away. Sure there was Buffy and Angel, but nothing like this crap now. Being an adult and having to see the all the little girls and effeminate boys go crazy over Harry Potter was bad enough. These vampires are 10x worse. TV is covered with them. Movies come out every couple of months with more vampires. It's ridiculous.
And the worst part is that the vampires are the good guys. Let's actually think about this. They sleep all day and then go out at night to assault (sometimes in a sexual manner) young women. Instead of calling the cops and a press conference, the women fall in love with these guys. Since they're nocturnal, apparently this causes them to be party animals. They go out in packs and reek havoc for fun. If this is the modern hero, why was Ben Rothlisberger so vilified? Maybe if he would have put in a pair of fake fangs, the Steelers would have 4 million young girls as fans.
Anyway, I say let's get rid of the sexy vampires and get back to the business of blowing up Russians and terrorists and cop shows with a Ferrari.
There were a few other main stream vampire movies at the time, but nothing like an action flick starring the Coreys. That movie was great. There was a love interest between Jami Gertz and Jason Patric. The slapstick was provided by the Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander (had to look that one up on imdb.com) as the Frog brothers. Plus a great cameo by Barnard Hughes as the grandfather. "One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires." The movie had everything a kid wanted to see.
And then, vampires faded away. Sure there was Buffy and Angel, but nothing like this crap now. Being an adult and having to see the all the little girls and effeminate boys go crazy over Harry Potter was bad enough. These vampires are 10x worse. TV is covered with them. Movies come out every couple of months with more vampires. It's ridiculous.
And the worst part is that the vampires are the good guys. Let's actually think about this. They sleep all day and then go out at night to assault (sometimes in a sexual manner) young women. Instead of calling the cops and a press conference, the women fall in love with these guys. Since they're nocturnal, apparently this causes them to be party animals. They go out in packs and reek havoc for fun. If this is the modern hero, why was Ben Rothlisberger so vilified? Maybe if he would have put in a pair of fake fangs, the Steelers would have 4 million young girls as fans.
Anyway, I say let's get rid of the sexy vampires and get back to the business of blowing up Russians and terrorists and cop shows with a Ferrari.
A Whole Lot of Nothing
Welcome to my useless time killer.
For those of you that know me, this is just a continuation of my incessant ramblings about nothing. For those that don't, hang on to your hats and get ready for the roller coaster ride. Actually, it's more like the teacup ride at Disney. Fun if you put a lot of energy into it, but not accommodating for fat people.
When I was younger, my friends and I would often have heated arguments about different subject matters that we believed were vital to the world. Now, I don't care anymore. I've been beaten down by sensationalism in the media and 24 hr sports coverage. Nothing actually matters. I do still get very worked up about the Saints and some other things. But I didn't start writing this blog to rant. I have too much stupid crap floating around in my head, so I decided to write it down. Because my wife is going to kill me if I keep using all of my material on her.
So I hope that you enjoy or hate my thoughts. But most importantly, I hope you waste time at work while reading this. Either way, drop me a line and I might even reply. Suck it!
For those of you that know me, this is just a continuation of my incessant ramblings about nothing. For those that don't, hang on to your hats and get ready for the roller coaster ride. Actually, it's more like the teacup ride at Disney. Fun if you put a lot of energy into it, but not accommodating for fat people.
When I was younger, my friends and I would often have heated arguments about different subject matters that we believed were vital to the world. Now, I don't care anymore. I've been beaten down by sensationalism in the media and 24 hr sports coverage. Nothing actually matters. I do still get very worked up about the Saints and some other things. But I didn't start writing this blog to rant. I have too much stupid crap floating around in my head, so I decided to write it down. Because my wife is going to kill me if I keep using all of my material on her.
So I hope that you enjoy or hate my thoughts. But most importantly, I hope you waste time at work while reading this. Either way, drop me a line and I might even reply. Suck it!
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